Ok, let’s get this out of the way right now. If you haven’t seen the premiere episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 7, STOP READING RIGHT NOW! There are going to be spoilers.
You can’t say I didn’t warn you.
Let’s get to it, shall we Hunties? First, we met the queens. Having seen the queens perform live, and meeting several in person, I already had my favorites. Still, I was open to see what everyone brought to the table.
Ginger was totes adorbs in a orange retro sundress dress befitting of a queen from the Sunshine State. Mrs. Kasha Davis wowed in a black and hot pink rockabilly dress and ladylike fascinator. I’d wear both dresses!
Tempest Dujour had the most shocking entrance. Yeah, that gif about sums it up. It was a fitting entrance for her character and I admit, I laughed. I imagine Tempest as the life of the party. She’s the quirky aunt you watch just because you want to see what she’ll do next. Then when she does it, it seems perfectly normal because she’s your quirky aunt.
Anyway, of course there were attitudes galore, especially among some of the “pretty queens.” It wasn’t their entrances that were unimpressive, it was the cutaway confessionals that did it. Being pretty isn’t everything ladies. There’s being self-confident and there’s being cocky. If I’ve learned anything from showing horses it’s the moment you get too cocky is when you get your butt handed to you. Some of these queens need to get off their high horses. Seriously, who asks someone they just met how old they are? Also, who cares and why does it matter?
Episodes are always divided into the mini-challenge and challenge (or Main Stage). Normally, the first episode of a season has the contestants participating in some off-the-wall photo shoot…and usually with the pit crew. Ru really switched things up this time by calling for a runway show instead! The queens were to present their best spring and fall looks.
I love a good runway and I was curious about these queens’ fashion sense. Overall, they were good. Nothing really stood out as terrible. Weird, yes, but not terrible. Violet Chachki wowed with a plaid transformation that made Carson Kressley’s jaw drop. That pretty much sealed her chance of being safe this week no matter how dull she was during the confessionals or how catty she was to the other queens. We get it. You’re pretty.
It’s hard to remember that Jaidynn Diore Fierce has only been sewing for 3.5 years, and that she taught herself. No joke! She told us at the Chicago premiere that she taught herself how to sew by watching YouTube videos. Hunty, it’s time to make some YouTube tutorials of your own! Her runway looks were nothing but professional quality. This queen has some serious talent. I want to go to JoAnn’s Fabrics with her and oogle material. Her creative mind is nothing short of amazing.
Katya showed body-ody-ody in some fantastic catsuits. She made horizontal chevrons look GOOD. Now that’s hard! I wouldn’t exactly wear her outfits, but I feel like they represented her very well. She gave off that gymnastics vibe and it was awesome.
Outfits I would tackle a queen for?
- Ginger Minj’s hot pink sparkle dress. OMG! I would wear that while vacuuming the house. I’d wear it to the grocery store. Pair it with a cardigan and I’d try and pull off wearing it to work. I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t fly in my office, but the dress was that fantastic.
- Mrs. Kasha Davis’ blue and gold gown. She looked like a Greek Goddess. The pleating, the way it moved, ohhhh everything about it. It was so flattering and elegant. I would twirl around the house all day in it. Can we go shopping together?
Continuing with the theme of changing things up, Ru decides to push the boundaries of what you can get away with on Cable TV, by challenging the queens to a transformation runway look. That is, resort wear to nude illusion. Yup. Naked on stage. Well, sort of naked on stage. It’s supposed to be the illusion of being naked after all.
We get a peek at the creative process as Ru goes around to the queens and checks in on them. Naturally, some of them are apprehensive about this challenge. It’s a nightmare for anyone with body issues.
This is when I really started to feel for Tempest. Looking at her now, you’d never believe she used to weigh 400 pounds. Hard work, determination, and the love of her husband and two adorable children helped her get where she is today. She’s really an inspiration. Of course, all of the backstory we’re being shown means things probably don’t bode well for Tempest. Time to get the tissues out.
Ru stops at Jasmine Masters’s table and we get a very confusing explanation of what she plans on creating. Something about a cocoon and a butterfly…there are hula hoops involved. It all seems to make sense to her. Thankfully, Ru’s expression showed he was just as confused as I was so I didn’t feel bad for not understanding what Jasmine was talking about.
Our judges for Season 7 (other than Michelle Visage and Ru) include Ross Mathews and Carson Kressley. I adore them both. The special guest judge this week was the hilarious Kathy Griffin! YAY! I’m a big fan of hers! I don’t think that woman ages. I get that she’s had work done, but whoever is doing it is really good.
Anyway, as the queens came out and strutted their stuff on the runway we were treated to the fact that they’re not really nude, but wearing bodysuits painted to look like they’re nude. At least, that’s what I THINK was going on. With all the blurring it was hard to tell what was what. It was like Season 1 when they rubbed Vaseline on the lens every time Ru had a closeup.
- Katya in a red chiffon number. I love that she’s gorgeous but shows humor and intelligence. Even with something as short as the runway walk, it was a performance for her. She killed it.
- Ginger Minj. Her confidence radiated throughout the room. If she wasn’t confident, I didn’t pick up on it. I don’t know what it is about her but she’s magnetic. Plus her shoes were ZOMG amazeballs.
- Jaidynn Diore Fierce. She worked it. She worked it so hard.
- Kennedy Davenport. Even though one of her boobs was crooked, I really liked her Egyptian-inspired look. Again, her performance makes up for her complete lack of personality during the confessionals. Are you keeping us at arms length Kennedy or are you just not interesting?
- Trixie Mattel. So her schtick is that she’s like a living Barbie. What does she do? She draws hinges on her bodysuit! Bloody brilliant!
- Kasha Davis. “It takes real balls to be a lady.” Yes, yes it does! Kasha just oozes class in everything she does. You watch her and realize you want to ooze class and elegance too.
- Max. Ok, so I’m really on the fence about Max. I can’t figure out quite what the character is. Maybe I’m not supposed to. But her “nothing says resort like polio” wear was certainly interesting. It reminded me of Marilyn Manson’s video for “Beautiful People.”
- Pearl. Is this queen on Ambien? Is she not getting enough sleep? Every time she’s on camera she looks like she’s about to fall asleep. Even Ru noticed it. If that’s her schtick, fine, but it’s kind of boring. Which is sad because she’s really pretty and does have great fashion sense.
- Sasha Belle. She would have been perfectly fine, but still not a standout, if she hadn’t worn black shapewear. Sigh.
- Kandy Ho. Can you say “5 o’clock shadow?” Whoa. Again, it’s too bad because she’s very striking.
Tempest’s bodysuit was sagging and about two shades lighter than her skin tone, which landed her in the bottom two. She appears as though she’s just not used to her new body yet. Still, the runway is a very cathartic moment for her, and understandably so. It gave me the feels.
We finally learned what Jasmine was talking about. She came out with a hula hoop draped in tropical fabric over her head. Then she drops the hoop to reveal her nude illusion, which was complemented and obstructed by some blue swinging fringe. Sorry darling, I love you but no one wears a hula hoop covered in fabric to the beach. You focused on one part of the assignment and forgot about the rest. It’s all in the details.
Speaking of forgetting the assignment, Violet, the challenge was resort wear to nude illusion, NOT resort wear to completely naked. Apparently someone needs to tell her the definition of illusion. I’m sure you had an awesome tuck and you’ve got a really nice body. Be proud of that. It takes either guts or a ginormous ego to come out on stage completely naked, but that wasn’t the assignment. There’s no illusion if you’re parading around in your birthday suit. Of course none of that mattered because her awesome black to plaid transformation during the mini challenge helped her secure the win this week. It’s okay, even Michelle Visage was surprised. Kudos to whoever edited this episode for including Michelle’s priceless reaction!
Jasmine barely scrapes by with her hula hoop fiasco and it’s Tempest Dujour and Kandy Ho that land in the bottom two. The time has come, for them to lip sync for their lives!
The blurring that was clearly necessitated by the cable company made it nearly impossible to tell what they were doing. Next time, let them put their resort wear back on so we can watch them perform. I can’t really tell you how either of them did since it was so fuzzy. All I know is that Kandy danced like she was in a strip club and Tempest kept it classy. Though she appeared defeated and her performance lacked the energy and passion we saw at the premiere party.
Still, my vote was for Tempest. She’s the more interesting of the two personality-wise, plus a little sagging at the ankles isn’t nearly as bad as a 5 o’clock shadow. This is Drag Race ladies. Covering your beard seems like Drag 101. Plus I’m not a fan of raunchy dance moves. It takes more skill to dance like a lady than it does to hump the floor.
Ru apparently felt differently and Tempest was sent home. She walked out with her head held high. Tempest, your little ones have an amazing role model. I wish the world could have gotten to know you better. We cried for your elimination. Real tears. We adore you!
Next week’s episode brings an airline themed lip synching challenge. I’d board that plane!