This week’s episode has left me feeling completely uninspired. Why? Maybe it’s this week’s elimination. Or maybe it’s just that overall the episode was kind of meh.
The girls return to the werk room and Kennedy is sad Jasmine is gone for all of ten seconds. I’m going to miss Jasmine’s charisma. Whether you liked her or not, that queen had charisma in spades. Goodbye Miss Jasmine. We’ll miss you!
Ru comes in and instead of giving the girls a mini challenge, goes right for the main challenge. That’s usually a sign that it’s going to be a doozy, especially when Ru gives you jazz hands.
It is. The queens have to form their own teams and do parodies of RuPaul songs. The queens seem thrilled. As you can see by Jaidynn’s face. Jaidynn makes the best faces.
I’m more impressed that the queens were able to divide themselves into somewhat even teams so quickly. On Team 1 we have Trixie, Miss Fame, Katya, and Pearl. Team 2 is Ginger, Kasha, Kennedy and Kandy. Finally on Team 3 we have Max, Jaidynn and Violet…who all look thrilled to be together.
Again, Violet just can’t understand why she’s being picked last. Really queen?
Team 1 gets Ru’s song “Dance With You” which they grudgingly follow Trixie’s advice and change to “Tan With You.” Pearl and Miss Fame were left eating their disagreeing words during Ru’s walkaround when the Queen of All Queens said she liked the idea. Ha!
Meanwhile, Violet is all icky that Max doesn’t want to do anything dirty or skanky. Good for you Max! I can see Max’s point. It’s too overdone. It’s the obvious and Max is clearly a queen that likes to go the more creative route. Jaidynn seems on board with Max and they decide to take Ru’s “Sissy that Walk” and turn it into “Get Ready to Clock.” I’m not sure I understand the slang reference, but yeah…it works.
We see that Team Ginger (I’m going with that since she’s the only one whose name doesn’t begin with a K), is doing a take on RuPaul’s “Let the Music Play” called “I Got Paid.” Not much attention is paid to this group during the planning stages. Likely because this is the only group without any unnecessary conflict.
Can we talk about Ginger’s kitten t-shirt for a minute? Kitties on nachos? YES PLEASE! This is why I love you Ginger. Even Kandy is amused by your shirt.
In the studio, the teams meet with RuPaul’s music producer, and overall cutie, Lucian Piane. Don’t let his good looks throw you off. He knows what he’s doing.
Overall, Team Trixie does pretty well. Miss Fame, who thinks she did the best in the studio, is a little bit flat. But at least she looks pretty doing it right? Katya does some sort of interpretive dance while she sings. It doesn’t really help her voice, but at least it’s adorable.
This leaves Pearl looking amused and Trixie praying to the autotune gods.
We see Team Ginger holding their own. Though they seem fairly surprised that Mrs. Kasha Davis sounds like Ethel Mermen had a baby with the Cowardly Lion. Really? Why are you surprised by this? Personally, I love MKD’s voice. It brings me back to a time of Hollywood glamour. She can call and sing the phonebook to me any day.
Speaking of Hollywood glamour, our own glamour girl, Max and her team aren’t doing too shabby either. Jaidynn looks a little nervous and I don’t really understand why. Honey, I’ve heard your cover of Ru’s “The Beginning.” You can SING! Violet, however, should be more worried about hitting her notes and less worried about making it known that her mistakes are Lucian’s fault, not her’s. Ouch.
Like last week, Ru and Michelle are on hand to help direct the music videos. Really, I look at their presence as keeping a bunch of ADD kids on task, but I digress.
Up first is Team Trixie. Their looks are on point. They’re all dressed like over tanned wealthy housewives. I love it. It reminds me of the mom of a girl I went to school with. Her skin was so tanned it looked like shoe leather. And I grew up in Chicago where having such a dark tan was obviously not natural. Of all the queens, I would say Katya was the most on point. She served some Florida retiree trailer park realness.
Up next we’ve got Team Max. I’ll give Violet this, she does a decent impersonation of Adore Delano. Decent in that all she has to do is open her mouth really wide and stomp in front of a fan. Adore, I love you darling, but you’re not that hard to imitate.
Max has a bit more trouble with Courtney and it’s to be expected. Courtney isn’t really an easy queen to imitate. There’s nothing about her that really stands out. She doesn’t have many quirky looks or signature moves. Max still gives it a good try.
Jaidynn…now Jaidynn TURNS IT. She has got Bianca down pat. I’m grooving right along with her. You go Jaidynn!
That leaves us with Team Ginger and the K’s. They come out in some adorable black and white dresses. I’m loving the scarf in Kasha’s hair. Not such a fan of the black tights on Kennedy and Kandy. I wish they had stayed cohesive and all went with nude tights, but no one asks me about their costume choices. The patterned tights make Kennedy look like one of those mystical eye illusions from the 90’s. There. I said it.
Since we’re talking about Kennedy, are her sleeves connected to the bottom of her dress? Why yes, yes they are! I’m not sure how I feel about that. It forces me to watch the hem of her dress waiting to see if waving her hands in the air will give us a peek at her tuck job. Also, what’s with the white line under the eyebrows? Just not good.
Kandy, however, looks cute but alas not memorable. That seems to be par for the course with her. I do like her star tattoos.Ginger gives us lots of face that saves it all. I’m living for the shots of her and Kasha dancing. Ya’ll should form your own girl group. It’d be adorable. I’ve got my fingers crossed the two of you will come to Chicago together. It’d be awesome.
Anyhoo, the concept of their video, which I completely forgot to mention, is the hawking of Ru’s plethora of products. Ru really does have a plethora. There are dolls, maquettes, makeup, shoes, CDs, movies, perfume, and even candy bars. That queen has her own candy bar!!! Now that’s hitting the big time! I bet that chocolate is as smooth as the camera filter they put on her during Season 1.
Ru, however, is not amused with the jab they give Drag U. Not amused at all. Sorry Ru, but the joke was pretty funny. I’m not gonna lie.
The theme this week, much to Michelle’s horror, is GREEN!
For those of you who don’t know, Michelle is notorious for hating the color green. Our extra special guest judges this week are Lucian Piane and Jessica Alba, who apparently founded the Honest Company. Huh.
First up is Pearl!
Pearl is giving us anaconda realness, minus the Niki Minaj booty. Actually, minus any booty at all cause the girl ain’t wearing any padding. It’s an interesting look, but I’m still not riveted. It’s much better than her look last week, that reminded me of Mutagu from Zoolander. I can’t be the only one that saw that!
Bring on Miss Fame!
Fame is growing on me. I really like this gown. That fabric is to die for and she’s selling it. I just wanna touch it to see what it feels like. Even though she wasn’t really a standout in her music video, she did give it her all. I give her points for that.
Jaidynn Dior FIERCE
Every deer in the woods is gonna spot her! I’ve actually seen that fabric at JoAnn’s. You go girl! I love this look. The gold accents really help class up what I know is just camo lycra. I’m impressed.
Katya gave us Angelina Jolie red carpet realness. She’s got legs for days. The hair…eh? I was okay until she turned around. Gotta run a brush through back there. Otherwise, it was perfection.
I feel like this dress could spark another “what color is it” debate. I’m guessing it’s a mint green since that’s how it looks on my iPod, even though it was totally a robin’s egg blue on my TV screen. Anyhoo, this Chinese inspired look was perfectly planned out. Kitsy yet glamourous and 100% Trixie.
Violet (whose name I always have to look up how to spell) Chachki
How long before Michelle tells her to stop relying on that body? Ok, I admit, she’s got a great body. But please, if you’re going to draw on your breasts, don’t make them saggy! Also, this look totally reminds me of Kevin from the movie UP.
I kid…not really. Her makeup is, as usual, flawless. But I want to see her tuck her real hair in just a little bit better. Use a wig cap honey. I can see your brunette peeking out.
Ohhh a reveal! For a moment I thought she was going to wear that Muppet on the runway. Nope, it’s a stunning green rhinestoned dress. Now I’m not one to say there are ever too many rhinestones, but this dress had too many rhinestones. It made it appear muddy not sparkly. And how come no one called her out on her dress not being zipped all the way in the back? Ok, ok, I’ll be nice. I really do think her hair and her makeup are on point. She is beautiful. I will always give her that.
Max, I love you more and more each week. I adore her creative little mind. She looks flawless and stunning in what she calls “the Three A’s.” Androgynous, Antiquated, Antonette. Squee! Plus those shoes…and a riding crop? Yes Miss Max. YES!
Kandy, Kandy, Kandy. That dress is awesome if you’re going to prom. But RuPaul isn’t here to give you a corsage girl. I do like the green tipped wig, though I wish it was a little brighter green and not so, how do you say, moldy looking? Beautiful look, wrong occasion. I’m sure there’s a high school girl somewhere who’d take that dress off your hands.
Mrs. Ka$ha Davi$
See what I did there? Normally I wouldn’t be a fan of this look, but given the queen wearing it, I have to say it fits perfectly with her character. This is a dress that requires an old-school camp queen to pull it off. Ka$ha sells it in spades. (I’m just going to write her name with dollar signs for the rest of the post because I can). I really like the creative take on the whole “Green” theme. I love her as a redhead and this wig is 100% on point. I would have gone with a brighter color flower, but the money boa is what really sells this look. I’m guessing this outfit didn’t come from Lord & Taylor. I’m thinking Neiman Marcus. Or as I like to call it, Needless Markup.
Last, but certainly not least…
Oh I love this little Glamour Toad! I’m not getting leprechaun from this look, but I am getting “Can I borrow it?” That skirt is so swishy. I love it. I’m swaying my hips just thinking about it. Makeup and hair is, once again, flawless. She’s gorgeous. Just gorgeous.
Alright, here’s the down and dirty of the rest of the episode. We see all three music videos and I have to say none of them are bad. They’re all actually pretty cute. Kennedy is deemed the winner for reasons I’m still not sure of. I think the win should have gone to Ginger, who was clearly the leader of the team. Whatevs. Her prize is a three year supply of hippie cleaning products from the Honest Company so I’m not too torn up about it. At least Ginger is safe along with Jaidynn, Katya, and Miss Fame.
That leaves Pearl, Trixie (Eep!), Max (no not Max!), Kandy, Violet, and Ka$ha (Noooo!) on stage. The judges are still wondering if Pearl is awake, but she’s clearly over it all.
They lambast Trixie for not being funny enough…I’m not really sure I understand that. The entire video concept was her idea and I think it was pretty funny. But okay, whatever.
The judges aren’t sure what to make of Max’s pasties other than it’s not enough green. That’s right. Michelle Visage said it’s not ENOUGH green. That’s one for the record books. And of course that her impersonation of Courtney left something to be desired. Hey, give the queen an A for effort! Courtney is a hard act to impersonate. But look at how pretty Max’s face is!
I really think the only reason they left Violet up there was so Jessica Alba could comment on how much she loved her butt. Really, that’s all they talked about. Oh and that she could have done more as Adore other than opening her mouth and stomping. Moving on…
The judges were as impressed with Kandy’s look as I was and cracked a prom comment. Ross tells her a pretty dress is not enough. Plus she was lost in the video. She was surrounded by queens with huge personalities. It’s hard not to get lost.
Finally, we get to Ka$ha. Ross loves a schticky queen and he loves her gown. Woot! Michelle wants to know if Ka$ha doesn’t think she can sing and that’s why they get that singing/talking voice.
What happened was, I think Bea Arthur was inside me when we were recording and I was like, ” There’s the voice today!”
Which earns this reaction from Michelle.
You’re safe Ka$ha. You’re safe.
RuPaul sends the queens away so she and the judges can deliberate. Ka$ha, Violet, and Kandy are safe. Pearl and Trixie must lip sync for their lives.
I’m not sure what Ru was watching, but the lip sync I saw had Trixie pouring her heart and soul into it. My eyes were locked on her. She was riveting! Pearl was good, don’t get me wrong. But there was something lacking in her performance. I think they call it “energy.”
Pearl, I don’t know what Ru saw that the rest of us didn’t, but shantay you stay.
Trixie, I love you dearly and am heartbroken you had to sashay away.
Trixie leaves with her head held high. She really did do her best. I’m still not sure why she was the one sent home. I can only hope this means they’ll bring her back later in the season. Whatever happens, I’m sure this isn’t the last we’ll see of Trixie Mattel.