Let’s just call this episode “The One Where Samm Yells Then Reaches for the Wine.”
I think enough time has passed where I can officially ask “WTF is going on this season?”
First, we’re five episodes in and we’ve had four acting/singing challenges and only ONE costume challenge. Now we’ve seen two talented queens eliminated in favor of keeping two subpar ones.
WHAT IS GOING ON?
This is not the Drag Race I know and love. I’m left scratching my head wondering what the deal is. I’ll admit that Pearl stepped up her game, more on that later, but Trixie out lip synced her. That elimination was 100% unfair. This week’s elimination followed the same route.
It’s getting old.
I’m tired of acting challenges and it looks like we’ve got another one next week. Yay. Where are the creative challenges? Where are the costume challenges? We already know who can act and who can’t. We had four episodes to show us. Same with singing. As Season 7 starts going down the path of Season 1, I’m starting not to care anymore.
Bring on the recap!
At least Ru changes it up a tiny bit this week and gives the ladies a creative mini challenge inspired by some Drag Race fan art. Ok, that’s kind of cool. I’m digging the recognition of fan art.
Paired in teams of two, the queens have to use paper to recreate famous red carpet looks. We have J-Lo’s sexy green dress (Violet and Miss Fame), Cher’s spiky Bob Mackie dress (Max and Pearl), Lady Gaga’s meat dress (Kennedy and Jaidynn), Little Kim’s…I guess you’d call it a pantsuit (Ginger and Kandy), and Bjork’s swan dress (Kasha and Katya).
The results were hilarious. Kasha and Katya stole the show with Kasha imitating the late great Joan Rivers, and Katya warbling as Bjork. Naturally, they win the challenge.
For the main challenge, the queens must host, present, and act as nominees for the first annual DESPY Awards. What does DESPY stand for? No one knows and no one says. Presumably, it’s not important.
The queens keep the same teams they had for the mini challenge, with Katya and Kasha assigned to host and the others assigned as presenters for the various categories: Most Busted Queen (Max and Pearl), Meatiest Tuck (Miss Fame and Violet), Shadiest Queen (Ginger and Kandy), and Sexy Sexy Drag Queen (Kennedy and Jaidynn).
The most interesting, awkward, and cringe-worthy part of the preparation process would have to be the spat between Ru and Pearl. I give Pearl credit for standing up for herself and telling Ru she doesn’t feel supported or encouraged. Can you blame her? The judges essentially told her she has no personality.
To help them prepare, each group is given time to review their material with the one and only comedy queen herself, Kathy Griffin! I love Kathy! I’ve seen her live twice and think she’s hilarious. Kathy, unfortunately, didn’t think the queens were all that funny. She did give them some great tips for improvement. It remained to be seen who would take them. Most of the groups left the stage basically having to start all over again.
Katya and Kasha seem like they’d be a shoo-in for hilarious hosts…but they weren’t. I’ve seen Kasha live twice now and I can honestly, 100% say that the Kasha that was hosting the DESPY Awards was NOT the same Kasha I’ve seen perform live. She was, for lack of a better word, nervous. It was strange to see and I felt bad for her. I know what it’s like to be on stage and to want to deliver something spectacular then getting stuck inside your head instead. It’s like an out-of-body experience and no matter what you do, you can’t stop yourself from tanking. It sucks. Plain and simple.
Kennedy and Jaidynn are surprisingly funny. I’m not surprised Jaidynn was funny. I knew she was funny. She’s got a great sense of humor. Kennedy still puts me to sleep during her confessionals. It’s gotten to the point where her personality is so monotone it’s almost painful. The surprise was that she was pretty funny during their bit for Sexy Sexy Drag Queen. I got a few chuckles out of it. The winner, of course, was Miss Fame.
Let’s back up for a minute here and talk about Miss Fame. Did you know that queen used to show chickens? I’m thoroughly impressed with her farmgirl roots. Actually, I want to know more about showing chickens. Admit it, it sounds fascinating!
Anyway, back to the awards.
Max and Pearl were another big shocker presenting the award for Most Busted Queen. After her spat with Ru, we weren’t really sure what was going on with Pearl. She left Max alone in the Werk Room for quite a long time. I felt bad for Max. It had to be hard not knowing if you were going out there by yourself or with your partner. Pearl did come back and I was pleasantly surprised by how well she killed it on stage. I think part of that was Ru’s talk, but I really think most of it was because of Max. Max was 100% supportive of her partner. She kept her mind open and remained encouraging. What resulted was a hilarious presentation that included Pearl impersonating Ginger Minj.
It’s okay Ginger. I don’t know what they’ve got against Gatorland either! That place is AWESOME! You and me Ginger, we’re gonna go and we’re gonna do Trainer for a Day or Rookie Wrestling, because GATORS! Clearly, the other queens don’t believe in FUN.
And the winner of Most Busted Queen was….Jaidynn Dior Fierce! YAY!
Speaking of Ginger, up next is Ginger and the queen I completely forgot was still on the show, Kandy Ho. Kandy plays set-up for Ginger’s jokes and Ginger nails it with flawless timing. Kandy tried to throw a joke in here and there, but like all of her other performances, they just fell flat. Ginger ruled and the award for Shadiest Queen obviously went to Violet.
Finally, Violet and Miss Fame take the stage to present the award for Meatiest Tuck. If you don’t know what a meaty tuck is, you can Google it. Just don’t do it at work. To put it simply, it’s when a queen does a crummy job tucking away their boy bits leaving a rather unconvincing look. There, now you don’t have to Google it.
Fame and Violet are like watching the movie Mean Girls except they’re not really funny. Fame tries. Actually, Fame is more funny than Violet. I give the queen credit for trying. Also, Violet, stop drawing on saggy too-big boobies. It’s not attractive. Ask Pearl to show you how to shade your cleavage.
The winner of Meatiest Tuck is…Katya! YAY! Her acceptance speech had me rolling with laughter. That queen’s timing is spot on.
Time for the Judges’ critiques.
This go-round the judges, joined by fashion designer Isaac Mizrahi, were actually impressed with the 180 Pearl pulled. Max and Pearl win the challenge. Yay for them! I do think this was deserved. The look on Kennedy’s face said that apparently she didn’t think so, but whatever. It’s not her show. Pearl was actually interesting this episode. I’m still waiting for you to be interesting Kennedy.
With Pearl, Max, Jaidynn and Kennedy all safe and dismissed, we’re left with Kasha, Katya, Ginger, Kandy, Violet and Miss Fame.
Here’s what the judges had to say:
- Kasha needed to go bigger. She looked nervous. They want more from her.
- Katya’s hair was too flat. Michelle, whose hair was noticeably straight and flat, told her to pull out her teasing comb. Pot? Kettle?
- Ginger was too funny and overshadowed the queen everyone forgot was still on the show. I still can’t figure out how that’s a bad thing.
- The queen everyone forgot was still on the show was, obviously, unmemorable.
- Violet and Miss Fame were catty and not funny. Again no comment about Violet’s weird boobies. And Miss Fame lets a joke go completely over her head, forcing Michelle to finish the punchline for her.
Ultimately, we’re left with Kasha and the queen everyone forgot was still there, Kandy Ho, in the bottom two.
At this point I’m sitting in front of the TV with two puppies snuggled up next to me and my husband on the couch trying to get some work done, thinking “Kasha’s got this.”
Kasha is a BIG performer. She owns that stage and you can’t take your eyes off of her. Kandy’s usual go-to method is to revert to strip-club mode so it’d be interesting to see what she’d do given the confines of her Big Bird dress.
It pretty much went exactly how I thought it would. Kasha demanded your attention, pouring her heart and soul into her performance. Kandy was good, less slutty than I expected, but still not powerful. I wasn’t wowed. I wanted to be wowed.
Again, Ru must have seen something that NOBODY ELSE WATCHING saw because she sent Kasha home telling the queen we forgot was even on the show, to stay.
I’ve always wondered why sports fans yell at the TV screen. It’s never really clicked why they do it.
Now I know.
There was yelling.
There were grumbling puppies who were annoyed with the disturbance.
There was stomping.
There was pouting.
There was a husband offering to go out and get me a box of wine (Because according to him, “Mrs. Kasha Davis says that’s the best wine”). Bless him.
Eventually, I took my glass of wine up to my work room and sulked. WTH was happening to RuPaul’s Drag Race?