We open with a look at Kasha’s lipstick message:
Be good to yourself. Be good to one another. Love to the moon & back! xo MKD. (Go Ginger)
followed by a cocky Kandy Ho making a remark that the judges must be putting her in the bottom on purpose so she can knock out some queens. She’s already knocked out the two oldest ones.
Do you feel me glaring at you Kandy Ho? Do you? DO YOU?
And no, Kandy. They’re not putting you in the bottom two so you can knock out the weaker queens. They’re putting you in the bottom two because they keep forgetting you’re on the show! I’m convinced, the only reason you won the lip sync last week was because Ru forgot to put in her contact lenses and your neon blue Big Bird dress was all she could see.
But I digress…
The mini challenge this week has something to do with the Pit Crew and monsters in their pants. Each queen has to pick Pit Crew members, who then pull a card with either a number or a monster on it, from their underwear. The queen with the highest score wins.
The game is simple enough, but all I can think about the entire time is how bad I feel for the poor intern who has to collect those sweaty crotch cards.
For the maxi challenge we have…dum dum dum…ANOTHER acting challenge! Put your surprised faces on everyone. We haven’t had enough of these have we? Does anyone know what happened to the costuming challenges? Or at least, the “create your runway look” challenges? All we’re seeing this season, so far, are acting/singing challenges and canned pre-prepared runway looks. Whoopie.
The queens are divided into groups of three and they’re tasked with reenacting “Whatever Happened to Merle Ginsberg” E! Hollywood Story style, from the point-of-view of Ru, Michelle, and Merle. For those who don’t know and those, like me, who completely forgot, Merle Ginsberg was a judge the first two seasons of Drag Race. Yeah, I know. I thought it was always Michelle and that Santino guy. Who knew?
Needless to say, each group of three consists of a Ru, a Michelle, and a Merle. Our teams are: Ginger, Katya, and Kennedy; Kandy, Violet, and Max, and Pearl, Miss Fame, and Jaidynn.
I’ve watched this episode twice now and I honestly can’t give you much detail about what happened while the queens filmed their reenactments. I know Jaidynn struggled playing Ru. Miss Fame called a timeout for a quick therapy session, and Ross Matthews was adorable and funny. I just wanna hug him.
Why can’t I tell you much more about the filming of the challenge? The first time I watched the episode I was coming down off an anxiety attack. Those of you with anxiety know that the lovely meds given to stop an attack slow down brain function. So I pretty much laid on the couch and tried not to drool on the dog. Though that did make the runway extra funny. More on that later.
The second time I watched the episode I didn’t have such a good excuse. I just didn’t care. It was another acting challenge with a boring concept. Ok, so that may have been another reason I wasn’t paying that much attention the first time either. I’m just so over these acting challenges. Surely the “Death Becomes Her” runway theme would be more interesting. It had to be. The movie was fantastic!
I do enjoy the little “personal” moments we get to see while the queens are getting ready for the runway. It seems almost voyeuristic to listen in on their conversations, but it’s these little nuggets that let us learn more about the queens. Take Miss Fame and her love of chickens for example.
This week we learn that despite being a drag queen, Jaidynn’s family doesn’t know she’s gay. They know she does drag and they’re semi okay with that, but actually revealing she is gay would be a whole different story. Oh Jaidynn! I got teary-eyed for you. It was sweet to see the other queens offer sympathy and support for their sister. You are beautiful inside and out!
Our guest judges this week are, of course, Merle Ginsberg, and the perpetually half-asleep pop sensation, Ariana Grande.
Katya opened the runway with a gold sequined leotard topped with navy blazer and captain’s hat. She limped up and down the catwalk with a shark devouring one of her legs.
I LOL’d. The only thing that would have made it better would have been a trail of blood. I’m assuming the producers told her “no” for insurance reasons.
Keeping the LOL’s coming, Ginger was next with a bear on her head, clearly in the process of being eaten. I loved it! She completely sold us camping-gone-wrong glamor and I want to know where she got that bear. Cause I want one…to watch TV in.
Flipping to the more serious, Max emerged in a stunning cream satin gown, chest stained with blood. In her hands, a glass box containing her heart. One simple concept and it tells an entire freaking story. Max you beautiful ethereal creature you.
Then there’s Kennedy…Kennedy is a rooster? A horse? If she was a rooster I’m sure Miss Fame would agree she would NOT win the fair. She looked like the kind of thing a kid draws in school and the parents get a call from the school psychologist. Coming from a seasoned pageant queen makes it even worse. Whoever made Kennedy that outfit needs to be fired. If she made it herself, then she needs to take some costuming classes from Tempest. We found out later during Untucked that the story behind this monstrosity was: “I was a prostitute who got thrown in the fire, crystallized, and came out a drag queen.” Insert blank stare here.
Continuing along the lines of uninspired, out comes the queen everyone forgot was still on the show in a beautiful black gown. That’s it. A black dress. Oh wait, she opened her mouth to reveal the $10 fangs bought at the pop-up Halloween store. I get it. She’s a vampire. Death. Vampire. Can you say “easy way out?” I knew you could.
Pearl comes hobbling out in her bra and what looks like grandma’s girdle with a neck brace, bandage around her waist, and snore-strip on her nose. I think she’s going for something with plastic surgery, but it seems like half of a concept. I’m not really sure what that has to do with the theme unless she’s referencing the movie by the same name. Then it kind of makes sense…
We finally get to see the scene from the season preview where Violet comes out with her waist cinched so tight the paramedics are probably waiting off screen. It’s impressive and the overall look is striking. The oxygen tank makes a good prop. I suppose looking like you might kill yourself on stage fits the theme. Like her or not, she still gets points for the time it took to train her waist to cinch that small.
Miss Fame emerges with a beautiful beaded gown, including rhinestone blood and a rhinestoned knife plunging through her head. That’s my kind of queen! The whole look was very well executed and I enjoyed the very drag take on the theme. Well done Miss Fame!
And now for something completely different…Jaidynn Dior Fierce closes the runway with an sort of bloodied escaped prisoner kind of look, complete with barbed wire. She looks like she could be a trainee for one of the Hellraiser movies’s Cenobites. She’s the first queen we’ve seen come out full gore and the only one to take a more Halloween approach to it. The look is twisted, kind of gorey, and yet weirdly glamorous.
With the runway walked we get to see the results of the queens’ videos. Really, I could have just fast forwarded through the whole “filming” part and just watched this bit. It was easier to watch the first time around when my brain wasn’t processing quickly enough to care about how stupid the concept was. With a clearer head, I realized that I still just didn’t care. It wasn’t really acting. It was a group of queens doing ridiculous things. It makes me almost glad Kasha was eliminated. This was no challenge for a lady.
Despite her horrifically terrible runway look and lackluster performance in the challenge, Kennedy is safe because Katya and Ginger’s performances pulled the group up. Katya was the winner of this week’s challenge. She gets a $2,000 gift certificate to Fabric Planet and I am super jealous. The win was well deserved.
Katya, Ginger, and Kennedy are safe, leaving the rest of the queens on the runway for the judges to critique.
Max wasn’t convincing as Merle and Michelle is getting irritated that she’s still wearing a grey wig even though she told her to try something else. God bless Ross Matthews who came to Max’s defense both over the challenge and the wig. Go Ross!
Kandy was boring as a vampire and as a drag queen. Ok, so just boring as a vampire. But at least they called her out on being uninspired and taking the easy way out.
Pearl is praised for her creativity and thinking outside the box. I admit, I’m starting to be impressed by Pearl. Took her a while to get going, but she’s really coming out of her shell. Turns out, she threw this number together at the last minute since she ended up using her “Death Becomes Her” look for the “Tan With You” video. Kuddos girlfriend.
Violet got brownie points for her super serious cinch. Once again, the only reason she’s still on the stage is so that the guest judge can oogle her runway look.
Miss Fame’s timeout during the challenge came into play and once again a dirty joke went over her head. Apparently her wig is like a helmet and she can’t hear? I’m not sure what was going on there. I think Fame just doesn’t have a sharp wit. She’s certainly not a dumb cookie. She’s just not the cookie with the comebacks.
Jaidynn’s challenge mini-meltdown is called out. I wouldn’t even call it a meltdown. I’d call it being nervous and having your mind blank, but whatevs. The judges think she needs to suck it up and that her runway look wasn’t that hot. Um…hello? Did ya’ll look at what Kennedy came out in? My dog has a better Halloween costume than that!
In the end, it was Kandy and Jaidynn forced to lip sync for their lives. Kandy was, of course, completely sure she could beat Jaidynn. Have you SEEN her lip sync Kandy? I’d be shaking in my pantyhose if I were you. She doesn’t have the last name FIERCE for nothing!
This week’s lip sync may as well have been titled “Lip Sync Like Your Name” cause that’s exactly what they did. Jaidynn was absolutely 100% fierce. She felt the song. She dominated the stage. She gave it her heart and soul. She was serving it and the judges were eating it up.
Kandy looked like she was plucked out of a strip club. There’s such a thing as being too cocky Kandy. There’s also such a thing as being too slutty.
FINALLY, Ru makes a sound decision and sends Kandy packing.
Next up, SNATCH GAME!!! Hopefully after the mother of all acting challenges, we’ll start seeing something new.