Dan Shea: The Living Blur

PlayItGrand September 26, 2010 No Comments »

Why do I call Dan Shea the living blur? Because the man doesn’t know how to stop moving! Granted that’s probably why he’s in such great physical shape, a fact that he never fails to point out!

Dan proved his physical fitness to us yet again in Chicago when he put his feet through the side of the chair on stage and did several knuckle push-ups from that position, and then held himself steady while Steve Bacic wrote on is bare back! Wait, didn’t I mention that Dan took his shirt off? Again?

Not only is Dan always on the move, but he also talks 100 miles a minute. Daniel Jackson and Rodney McKay have nothing on this guy! Knowing that, and also knowing many of Dan’s stories fairly well since this is the third time I’ve seen him, I will attempt to relate as much as I can of what Dan had to say.

Dan put his shirt back on and said, “Should I be up here right now? I just sort of walked up here.” Our wonderful MC Adam replied, “Dude, you’re on stage now!” Yep. That’s Dan for ya!

Dan immediately started on a story, one that he dined on all weekend! Apparently Dan got a little lost at the airport – which doesn’t surprise me because O’Hare is insane! He said he was waiting at a bus stop and trying to figure out how to get to the convention hotel. Some nearby convention goers saw Dan, apparently pacing, looking very lost, and didn’t say anything even though they had to have recognized him! Apparently there were pictures taken! Dan does tend to exaggerate a bit, so when he said he was waiting for an hour and a half, pacing, lost, I’m sure that’s not the case. Finally someone gave him directions, but they weren’t right, so he went back. Then a shuttle bus for the Westin pulls up right where he had been waiting. Dan thought folks at the bus stop had walked a fine line between watching him make a fool of himself and being sadistic. The fact that Dan brought up the story again over the next two days just goes to show you that he’s not bitter about it.

Dan just launched this story when a familiar voice, using a microphone, said, “I have a question.” Everyone, and I mean everyone experienced Uh Oh moment #2. The Creation staff hadn’t been able to get Steve Bacic to relinquish his mic, and he had come back for revenge! He lounged across some empty seats right in front of me. In other words, Steve was not about to leave anytime soon!

Warning. If you haven’t already guessed, it’s about to get dirty again!

“When you first started, at 17, you’d just come off the corn farm and you made the big move to Vancouver and you brought all that corn with you, and you said to the director, ‘Look what I can do with this corn’, and the next thing you know we’re in the same film together, with the sheep . . . Did you mean it?”

Dan replies, “I mean everything I say. All the time. You good?”

Steve says, “Well I could use another drink.”

Dan says, “Hold that thought!” and then launches right back into the bus stop story! Good save Dan!

Then halfway though his bus stop story, as Dan mentioned how the people at the bus stop were cool as cucumbers while he was sweating in the Chicago heat from searching for the hotel, Steve interrupted again. “That reminds me of the cucumber story! The cucumbers and the corn. Remember that movie? That was your second film, with cucumbers, corn, and sheep. . . . Sorry.”

Dan says, “So, . . . .” and goes right back to where he left off!

Having finished the bus stop story, Dan started picking on one of the unfortunate fans that was there. I think she said her name was “Cara”, but Dan heard “Tara”, which launched a five minute discussion between Dan and the audience about Gone With the Wind and the plantation named Tara. Dan obviously had never read it, nor had he seen the movie, but he knew the name and the main characters of the story. That then spiraled into something about baseball, then something about a football movie, and then into a story from Dan’s work on the Psych set. This is how Dan’s mind works, and this is why it will take him 30 minutes to tell any story that you or I could tell in less than 10 minutes!

I got SO lost, but I was still laughing along with everyone else as Steve tried to help Dan figure out what he was talking about because Dan was having trouble recalling actors and movie names. Eventually, in true Dan Shea form, Dan looks at us and says, “So what were we talking about?”

As Dan went on to pick on the Blackhawks for their win over the Canucks, we said good bye to Steve who was dragged out of the room, I believe to go do some photo ops.

Then Dan said, “How did I get going on Gone With the Wind?” We said, “Tara!” Then mentally I think most of us went, “Oiy! Dan!!”

Finally someone shouted out a question about Psych. Dan said he did some double work for Cary Elwes, who is known for his role in The Princess Bride. Poor Dan got the impression that he as quite a bit taller and larger than Cary, so Dan went around scrunched up, trying to look small so he wouldn’t lose the job. They gave Dan a “Johnny Winter wig”. From what Dan said it’s sounds like I’m a little to young for the reference, but some audience members got it. Dan then had to shoot a grappling gun, a term fed to him by a fan who said she was a teacher. Then Dan picked on her for 5 minutes because she wasn’t an English teacher, or a math teacher, on art teacher – which apparently only requires finger painting in Dan’s book! No, she was a gym teacher! Then Dan nagged the poor woman to prove that she was a gym teacher, so she came up and wowed everyone by dropping to the floor in a perfect split!

After Dan went a-rambling again, a fan lent him a helping hand by shouting, “Grappling hook!” This got Dan back on track! Whew! Apparently there was issues getting the grappling hook to actually hook, so the second unit will be filming that, and then Dan got to be lifted up 15 stories high in a harness.

Stunt doubles always have their pictures taken with the actors they double, so Dan tried to look small again. He didn’t see the picture until later. Dan roared, “He’s TALLER than I am! Damn you! I’m like 2 inches taller, I’m trying to be small all week, and now I’ve got a picture I’m going to put on my wall where I look like this little g’dong, and he’s this guy that’s 2 inches taller than me, and I’m not saying that to be taller is better, I’m just saying.”

After picking on the bus stop folks and the gym teacher again, Dan told us that he recently worked on an episode of Fringe. He doubled John Noble and had to wear a wig again. Dan complained that the makeup folks took great delight in practically stapling the wig to his head. Right in the middle of this story, Dan’s phone goes off! It’s the wardobe department for V! They wanted something, and Dan promised to call them back. He hung up and then Adam came out and said, “Dan, you have used your remaining time on a phone call!” Dan yelled, “It was such an interesting story!” Adam decided to let him finish. Dan had to run and smack himself into a wall because John Noble’s character was getting grabbed and thrown into the wall by someone. “Then two days later I put the wig on of Cary, and they smash me against another wall, and put me on a wire, and then I watched Gone With the Wind!”

With that, Dan signed the stage banners and left until later. That’s right, he’s not leaving! Didn’t I warn you? This isn’t the Stargate convention. It’s the Dan Shea convention!

Can you handle it?

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