Dren My Husband Says

Samm June 10, 2010 3 Comments »

My husband, who is insisting that I refer to him as “Lord Monkeypants,” is filled with pithy sayings. More often than not, these pearls of wisdom should never be repeated to the general public, but every now and then he comes up with something that is truly unique, hysterical and sometimes genius.  Because of this, he has inspired our new column entitled “Dren My Husband Says.” Here it goes!

LORD MONKEYPANTS: SyFy has really disappointed me with this Spring Break Shark Attack movie.

ME: (making the mistake of asking) Why?

LORD MONKEYPANTS: First of all, I’m half way through the movie and I haven’t seen more than just an outline of a shark. Secondly, none of the actresses have big boobs. If they could actually act this wouldn’t matter, but since they can’t there has to be some hotness factor to make me want to watch the rest of this.

ME: >_<


LORD MONKEYPANTS: Tassels are great on strippers, acceptable on curtains and inexcusable on jackets.


LORD MONKEYPANTS: (Making inaudable jibberish and clicking noises).

ME: What?

LORD MONKEYPANTS: That’s Swahili for “I’m awesome!”

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  1. GreenEggsNSammNo Gravatar June 10, 2010 at 3:46 pm -

    Are you encouraging him? Don’t encourage him! LOL

  2. PlayItGrandNo Gravatar June 10, 2010 at 3:45 pm -

    Oh wow. *Headdesk* LOL! Let me just say this is the perfect way to kick off what is going to be a hilarious column!

  3. GreenEggsNSammNo Gravatar June 10, 2010 at 12:48 pm -

    ME: Posted! There, you’re officially famous!

    LORD MONKEYPANTS: Excellent. Step 1 in my quest for world domination is complete.